Go Buckeyes!

As with most developing countries, Kyrgyzstan has some of the most interesting written English you will ever see. Chinese imitation clothing is just about as popular as breathing in the KG. Shirts that have Latin script letters just for the sake of having letters are pretty popular, as are the Adidas fakes. The rip-offs are absolutely shameless with their copies. Words like ‘Trademark’ or ‘Copyright’ might as well be in… well, in English. You don’t see the off brands here where the colors are a little bit different or they use 4 stripes instead of 3 like in the states. Everything is exactly the same, everything except when some poor Chinese worker has to write in English. I have seen so many Abibas, Adibas, Addidas, and Ebbibas that seeing an actual pair is quite shocking.

Armani takes a close second for trendy Kyrgyz brands, I myself, recently purchased a nice pair of brown stretchy corduroys with fleece lining at Osh Bazaar made by the popular and most reputable, Armmannill of Shanghai. The sad truth of the matter is that the English language is by large associated with prosperity and affluency. And generally it is at the cost of grandmothers wearing shirts with large print curse words or manly men with shirts that say things like ‘sports girl’. Another reason I am glad to be teaching English on the side.

Another favorite are Kyrgyz toys. In Bishkek a while back I saw a nice little white and pink toy horse, any little Kyrgyz girl would love to play with. That is, until she finds out her ‘My Little Pony’ actually reads ‘Demon Donkey’ in nicely coordinated light blue lettering. A while later In Karakol I also found a toy gun emblazoned in bright red words a not-so-nice, ‘Kill! Kill! Kill!’. No wonder the boys are all so tentek here. Parents will soon be telling their children that their bad behavior is spawned not from watching too much television but from reading too many English words.

Coming from a place where even the cars are rumored to be Chinese rip-offs, the occasional real shirt makes for a huge and generally random surprise. Today I came home to my Apa wearing an Ohio State University shirt, it has the correct school colors, Ohio State logo and no misspellings- a true OSU original. I still have no idea where she got it. But needless to say, I completely lost it. We’re talking doubled over laughter, lost it. Go Buckeyes!